Starbucks' coffee sucks. They try to cover up the fact that it tastes like roasted hell dirt by mixing it with all kinds of things like whip cream, 16 cups of sugar, caramel, fudge powder, soy, zucchini, Play-Do, whatever. But the fact is, under the layers of whipped fudgey, caramelly soy protein-y nonsense, the coffee aspect of Starbucks Coffee tastes like asphalt mixed with spilled motor oil and acid rain.
As if that weren't bad enough, the company is obnoxious. Their contrived atmosphere and image essentially tries to be artsy hippy/bohemian cafe cool but is really wanna-be pretentious yuppy hollowness. They try to promote an image of being socially conscious, but they rape the Earth, exploit the poor and destroy grassroots culture as much as any other massive corporate bloodclot in the brain.
And what the hell is wrong with the words Small, Medium and Large? Why do they have to have their own symbolic, secret Starbucks parlance? Why is a small-sized drink called Tall? I'm sorry losers, but small and tall don't really have much to do with each other. And why does this Seattle-based company need to use the Italian word for "20" to denote their large size? I know the cup sizes are probably some lame little corporate tactic to make you feel "out of the loop" if you don't know Starbucks super-secret, uber-chic code words. But the fact is, the sizes sound like they were invented by some dipshit. Every time you order a vente this or a tall that (I don't even know what the word for Medium is), you are worshipping at the altar of Dipshit Corporate Americanism. Besides, if you ask the cashier for a "small coffee," they usually get the point. Here's an example of a recent conversation:
Me. Can I have a small coffee please?
Starbucks Drone: You mean a tall coffee?
Me: Yes that's right, you dumbass, a small coffee.
Plus, their business tactics rival Wal-Mart's in soulless sliminess (except that at least Wal-Mart offers low prices for poor quality). Any time Starbucks sniffs competition, the monsterous beheamouth chain throws its fat around and stifles it. They open a store or two a block away, draining much-needed business from independent shops and smaller chains. One example is Deidrich's coffee, a small chain in the OC that actually knew how to brew coffee and roast beans. They closed because they couldn't survive the Starbucks plague. So now, if I want a cup of coffee, I get to choose between Starbucks and, oh damn, Starbucks. That's pretty fucked up.
Who ever told these corporate shit heads that I wanted to see their stupid stores on every corner? Why don't I get a say? I'm not saying Starbucks doesn't have a right to exist. There are people out there that like it and they should have the right to buy it. Fine with me. I'm not saying that when I'm slouched over my desk at work with my tongue lolling out, I won't go to the Starbucks around the corner. But I don't understand why they have to swallow up every other coffee brand and put smaller shops out of business. If they want to have a couple of stores in my neighborhood, I'm not going to complain. But when they start smothering all the competition, that's when I start getting a little crazy. That's when I start boycotting. Because I am tired of these big, ugly, lame corporations taking everything away from me that I like.
Let's face it. We only have a democracy for the super-rich in this country and around the world. As long as enough people buy enough Starbucks to keep them fat and healthy, they get to do whatever they want, and unfortunately, whatever they want means being a bunch of fascist assholes. And the more competition they eliminate, the less accountability they will have. They can sell pool water for $7 a cup and there will be no one around to threaten them with a better product.
Hey, corporate dumb-bots, enough is enough already.
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